Mothers
by SmallTimeWriter
Summary: A little talk about mothers.
1. Part 1

**Mothers**

 **Authors Note/Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Once Upon A Time, that credit is due to go to the writers/creators.**

 **.**

 **Summary: A little talk about mothers.**

* * *

 **Part 1**

* * *

Snow gently ran her fingers over the cover of the brown storybook in her lap; listening to the sound of Neal's breathing from the bassinet beside her, the little babe had fallen asleep listening to the tale of Cinderella. It was the true tale, not the version in this world, she wanted Neal to know the truth. Her eyes ran over the sleeping babe, it was the simple things she missed most when in the underworld, reading to him was just one of the few. It was nice to have these moments back though her heart ached for those she had left behind, the rest of her family was out there.  
Family. Snow glanced at the other end of the couch, eyes resting on Roland curled under the blanket. Regina had only asked for her to check on him, but it was clear when she saw him in the church asking the fairies for his father, that she had to take him home. He was her family now, and with Regina and Robin gone, it was her duty to care for him.

Snow's hands tightened around the book in her lap, watching his eyelids flutter as he dreamt. She couldn't help but think back to the conversation they had at dinner. She hadn't expected that Roland, the shy quiet child, would be incredibly inquisitive. It appeared that he had concerns, and questions that he had been desperately wishing to speak to someone about, she just wondered why it had to be her.

" _Can I ask you a question?"_

 _Snow glanced up from her plate, lowering her fork from her mouth as she glanced at Roland. "Of course you can, honey."_

 _Roland chewed on his bottom lip, cautiously mauling over his thoughts. "Do you have a mommy?"_

 _Snow swallowed, her eyes closing for a moment as she took a deep breath to focus. Her heart pounded in her chest, it had been many years since someone had asked her a question like that. "Well," She wasn't sure how to answer. At one put in her life she had a mother, Eva, who was taken from her when she was not much older then Roland, however she do not think of her everyday anymore. It was not because she had moved on completely, no, Snow knew that she would always love Eva but thinking of her brought back memories that were either to painful to think of or they seemed to anger her._

" _Sorry, I didn't mean…"_

 _Snow blinked, giving Roland a soft smile. "Oh, it's alright, honey. I just, well, I don't think of my mother often that is all. I do have a mother, or I did. She died when I was young."_

 _Roland's eyes filled with sadness. "My mama is dead too."_

 _Snow reached across the table to take his hand in hers. "I know, I am incrediably sorry to hear that Roland. I am sure she was a wonderful mama, a very special lady."_

" _I miss her." Roland admitted, closing his eyes. "Do you miss your mama?"_

" _Yes." Snow did not hesitate, the feeling of missing her mother would never disappear. "Where has this talk come from, honey?" It was a reasonable question, especially when she realised that Roland probably hadn't brought this up with his father._

 _Roland's eyes were shining with tears. "Can you have more then one mother?"_

 _Snow felt her heart drop at the sound of the question, not believe it was wrong but because she had once asked the same question, and her father, Leopold had scolded her for thinking such a thing. In this moment she had a decision to make, unsure of what Robin would say, how he would explain it made it difficult. The thought of stepping on another parents toes was horrid, so there was only one thing she could do, it was to share her experience with him. "After my mother passed away, my father married another woman, she was…is my stepmother."_

" _Do you call her mother? Does she love you?" Roland's eyes seemed to come alive with curiosity._

 _Snow's smile was bittersweet. "I did call her mother, sometimes, and perhaps at one point in her life she loved me."_

" _Did she do things with you? I want a mama to do mama things."_

 _Snow patted his hand gently, seeing the longing in his eyes, the same longing that once filled her soul. "When I was younger she used to braid my hair and tuck me in at night." Snow closed her eyes. "And, she taught me the most important lesson in life, to never give up." The memory came to the forfront of her mind, of Regina telling her to get back on the horse. "When I as a mere child she saved me, and since that moment I've loved her."_

" _Wow."_

 _Snow reached out to tilt his chin, so that she could look into his eyes. "Your father is an amazing man, Roland, and he loves you very much. Having a mother…"_

 _Roland chewed on the bottom of his lip. "I love papa but I want a mother." He inched forward on his chair. "Does your other mother live here, in Storybrooke?"_

 _Snow nodded slowly. "She does." In truth she found herself unsure if she should tell him the truth. How would he react to the knowledge that she was Regina's stepchild?_

" _Will I meet her?"_

 _Snow reached for her glass of water. "You already have, my stepmother is Regina." She told him, taking a sip of the water as she watched his face show a look of surprise and she wondered how he had not suspected._

" _I thought Regina hated you." Roland blushed. "Sorry, that was rude."_

" _It's alright." Snow assured, picking her fork back up. "I do not believe Regina hates me as much as used too." She spoke the words quietly as her mind filled with images of Regina from the Enchanted Forest until the present time._

Snow blinked as the conversation flowed through her mind, her eyes never leaving Roland. He wanted Regina as a mother as well. It all made Snow's heart hurt. She was Henry's mother, undoubtedly she would one day be Roland's and potentially at least a stepmother to Robin and Zelena's child. Snow felt her heart drop, she was going to be their mother but she would never be Snow's and for that Snow felt deflated, envious.

Even after everything, the heartache, the torture, the death…she still loved Regina as any child would love their mother. The pure thought of Roland getting that love but never having it herself made her feel completely envious. She wanted the love that Henry had from Regina, that Roland was already gaining.

Snow heard Neal whine in his bassinet and she turned her head towards him. If they could be as they were then their family could be so much more.

* * *

 **Thoughts?**

 **Much Love. x**


	2. Part 2

**Mothers**

 **Authors Note/Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Once Upon A Time, that credit is due to go to the writers/creators.**

 **.**

 **Summary: A little talk about mothers.**

* * *

 **Part 2**

* * *

"Regina."

Regina peeled her eyes away from the computer screen to see Roland standing at the doorway of her study, she ahd tucked him into bed a little over an hour ago but he had clearly not gone to sleep. She smiled, pushing back from the desk, she opened her arms and he wandered forward around the desk to hug her. They had been back a week but seeing his sweet innocent face never ceased to make her smile. Being gone, torn away from him was like missing a piece of herself. Biologically he might have been her child, like Henry wasn't but she loved them both as though they were. "Is there something you wish to speak to me about, love?" This was not the first time he had sort her out since their return, looking as through he wanted to talk but never actually speaking.

"Snow…" The name left Roland's lips in a whisper, the child wasn't completely sure how to approach the topic which he had brought up with Snow White. "Regina, do you have a daughter?"

Regina froze as the words left Roland's mouth it was a surprising question, not one she ha expected to hear. "Where did that come from?"

Roland pulled away from her, looking up into her eyes innocently." Do you Regina?"

Regina closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She never thought she would be telling Roland about this. "I do." She confided the words into the child, words she had never spoken aloud, since speaking them aloud would bring the reality of all the horrible things she had down crashing down onto her, all the guilt from the past actions would surface. "She is my stepdaughter."

"How come you don't talk about her, Regina?"

"Well…" Regina stumbled to find the words."It is complicated Roland, we do not have the best relationship."

Roland smiled at her. "Snow said that she loved you."

Regina was certain her heart constricted in her chest, those were words she never expected to hear after all she was almost certain that she did not deserve Snow's love not after all that she had down. "Well Snow and I have a very long and complicated relationship but I suppose somewhere inside of me I love Snow as well."

"How come you don't say it?"

For a young child, Roland, had a lot of questions that were making Regina's insides churn. "Are you asking why I don't tell Snow I love her?" When he nodded, Regina took a deep breath. "I suppose I believe she would not want to hear it, a lot happened between us and I fear that Snow's hatred for me wouldn't allow her to believe my words." Regina brushed the lock of brown hair out of Roland's eyes. "But just because I don't say it, does not mean it isn't true, dear."

"But how is Snow meant to know if you don't say it?"

Regina blinked, staring straight over the top of Roland's hear, if this was how Roland thought about these things then wished to say to Snow but words that never left her mouth. She had tried to be a better person for Henry, and during that period she had realised and thought about the evil things she had done, she realised that she should have tried to do the same for Snow. Should have fought her anger, after all, Snow was just a child when the secret had been exposed.  
Roland's words spun around in her mind. Snow loved her.

"Roland, come now, Son, leave Regina be." Robin beckoned his son out of the room, Roland looked hesitant but eventually did as told. "You go up to bed, I'll be up to tuck you in soon." He waited for Roland to leave before he turned to Regina, her eyes were focused on him but it felt as though she was staring straight through him. He had heard the last part of the conversation, wondered where his son had discovered this information and if he should talk with the boy. "Regina?"

"She told Roland that she loves me, how could I not have seen this Robin?"

Robin walked across the room, kneeling down in front of her, rubbing her knee softly. "Don't blame yourself, darling, you weren't to know."

"She is my daughter, I should have known. Isn't that a parental instinct?" Regina covered her face with her hands. "Was I that blinded by rage that I couldn't see her love?" Regina felt her heart breaking in her chest. "I do not understand this family, Snow, how could she possibly love me after everything? I planned to kill her, I took away her child for twenty eight years. Those are unforgivable acts, Robin, and yet she is confiding in Roland her true feelings. How did I mess this up, how was I so blinded that I hurt my only daughter in unimaginable ways?"

"Regina." Robin interrupted her ramblings. "Stop. Stop analysing everything, just take a deep breath and ask yourself, do you love Snow?"

"Of course, I didn't realise how deep I buried that love. Roland's words…"

Robin could not remember a time where he had seen Regina look lost yet in this moment, she looked flustered, unsure of her next move. This was a new side to the Queen, one he had not seen before. "That is all you need." He smiled softly. "If this was Henry or Roland, you would hold them tight, reassure them. Do the same for Snow, talk to her."

"Talk to her?!" Regina looked terrified at the thought. "I cannot, I would not know what to say."

"it is a good thing it is getting late then, come to bed, sleep on it."

Regina looked down at her partner, eyes filled with pain. "I hurt her, if this if is real, if my daughter loves me I need to be certain I will never hurt her again. Snow does not deserve it. She never has."

"Come to bed, love, you can go and see Snow in the morning." He extended his hand towards her.

"I'll be up soon, I just need a few moments alone." She smiled softly at Robin, letting him know that she was alright.

"Alright, I'll see you in a moment."

Regina slumped back against her chair as Robin shut the door, eyes closed as she fought back the tears that were threatening to spill. This was Snow, her child. She opened her eyes, reaching forward to open the door in front of her, gently she reached in and ran her hand over the photo that was on the left hand side. She gently pulled it out and let her eyes study it, not one person knew that this photo exisited. In fact she had reached back into time to snap the image, the first proper family photo she could imagine. It was not simply a photo of her and Henry, nor did it just have Roland and Robin added. No, this was much more. Also in the photo was Snow, David, Neal, Emma and Hook. It was an odd family of sorts but it was her family and somewhere deep within her, she was sure she knew that all along.

* * *

 **Thoughts?**

 **Much Love. x**


	3. Part 3

**Mothers**

 **Authors Note/Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Once Upon A Time, that credit is due to go to the writers/creators.**

 **.**

 **Summary: A little talk about mothers.**

* * *

 **Part 3**

* * *

"Regina?" Snow held the doorframe in her hand steering at the woman before her, Regina did not look as though she had slept a wink which was incredibly abnormal, the Queen usually got her required amount of sleep. "Is everything alright?" Snow immediately expected there was something wrong, it would be the only reason for Regina to be at the apartment. "Is it Henry?"

Regina found herself staring at Snow, for the first time in many years she found herself really looking. With all the anger and hatred she had missed Snow growing in the woman she was today, the childhood she should have had was gone and it was tainted. Tainted by her. Regina found self wanting to turn around, she didn't deserve to be here for the selfish reason that she was. The woman she thought of as a daughter was better off without her. "I…never mind, dear."

Snow frowned. "Are you okay, Regina? You don't…"

"I'm fine."

"I was making some hot cocoa, would you like some?" She opened the door wider and motioned for the former evil queen to walk through. A part of her heart was tugging, and when she looked into Regina's eyes she found herself unable to turn her away. "It is just Neal and I. Emma and David are at the station, Hook and Henry are on the Jolly Roger." It was information that didn't need to be explained but while she talked Regina walked into the apartment.

Regina's eyes fell on Neal who was seated in his high chair at the counter, almost nine months old and she had not seen him more than a few times. In truth, it was almost as if she had subconsciously avoided him and now, here he was. He banged his rattle on the tray of the highchair, giggling a little and Regina could see it, in his features a mix of Snow and David. He was cute, undeniable, and Regina saw it. Everything she had missed. He could have been her grandchild.

"Regina, are you alright?"

"I…why?" She gently eased herself onto the stool, Snow sliding a cup of cocoa in front of her.

Snow raised her eyebrow. "You're in my apartment, and Regina, you don't look good."

"I'm…Roland mentioned to me…" She watched Snow's face turn pale; apparently she hadn't expected the little one to tell. It also let Regina know that Snow was aware of what Roland had said. "Why Snow?"

"What do you mean, Regina? It's simple. I told Roland the truth, nothing less than that. I did not expect him to relay that to you."

Regina exhaled, taking another peak at Neal. "You should have told me how you feel."

"What would that have accomplished? You don't see me in the light that I wish you did. The destruction, anger, hatred. It was a part of you Regina, a part that hated me."

"I don't hate you." Regina turned to look at Snow, eyes pouring into hers. "I do not hate you, dear. All these years of hurting you and I never took a moment to really take account my feelings, I locked them away."

Snow took a sip of her cocoa. "How do you feel, Regina?"

"In all honesty, terrible. My actions have cost me someone that truly mattered…you." She found herself staring at Neal once more, unable to tear her eyes from him. "I lost a family that I did not know I wanted."

Snow stared at her step-mother, for the first time unable to comprehend what was happening. She had waited for years to hear these words leave Regina's mouth, dreaming of the ways that this moment would happen. Never did she think that it would be because of an eight year old that asked a simple question, one he did not know would unravel feelings that both women had tried to bury.

Regina saw the stunned look on Snow's features; she looked neither happy nor angry at the prospect that she was wanted. "I'm sorry." Regina found herself apologising before she could stop the words. "I did not mean to place that on you. I should go."

Snow blinked when she heard Regina stand up. "Wait!" She called out loudly, startling Neal who let out a whine. "I just…give me a moment," She breathed deeply. "Let me process." Snow stared at the woman before her. "This…Regina, please tell me you aren't here to please Roland or Henry. You don't…"

"This isn't for Roland, nor for Henry." Regina interrupted, the latter was not even aware of his mothers current situation. "I am here because of you, Snow."

"I…"

Regina breathed deeply, it felt strange to open up to her step-daughter, it had been all to long since they had shared feelings. "I will admit that it took Roland to bring this to my attention, however I should have known. You needed me, wanted me in your life and I had buried my love for you so deep that I refused to see what was right in front of me. My daughter." She saw the glazing in Snow's eyes at the words, the last thing she wanted was to make the woman cry but this was needed. Regina wanted them to be able to move forward as a family, a united family. "I've committed acts against you, I hurt you. I cannot be forgiven for that, nor do I want to be. As a mother it was my job to protect you and I failed. All I can do is hope that you will give me a chance to try and better the future…"

"Regina, stop." Snow saw the hurt look on Regina's face that was quickly masked. "I don't…you are forgiven, of course you are." Snow blinked back the tears. "I, what does this mean for us? What is this?"

Regina looked down at Neal then back at Snow. "This is me being honest with you, dear. I love you. That is the honest truth, a truth I tried to bury because of fear. I lost my way and I also lost a family."

Snow shook her head, walking around the highchair. "No. No. Regina, you have a family. We are your family." She looked down at the ground as if she was unwilling to face Regina. "You're my mother and I love you."

Regina instinctively reached out and grabbed Snow's hand. "I want…"

"I want…"

They both laughed slightly, turning their heads to Neal when he giggled though he was not aware of what they were talking about.

"You go, dear, tell me…"

"Let me show you." Snow reached down and gently lifted Neal from the high chair, approaching Regina with a smile. "Regina, this is Neal, your grandson. Neal, this is your Grandmother, my Mother."

Regina blinked, feeling the tears reaching her eyes as Neal instinctively reached towards her. "Oh I…"

"I think he wants to know you." Snow placed him into Regina's arms, letting her hand linger on Regina's hand. "The past is the past. This," She smiled at Neal. "Is our future. We are your family, and I've waited years for this moment. I love you, Mother."

Regina let out a sob, staring into the eyes of Snow, for the first time in years she felt only love flow through her body. "And I love you, Snow."

* * *

 **Thoughts?**

 **Much Love. x**


End file.
